Before listening to Marko Vlaming, the Head Olde Vechte Trainer and a mentor to many, talking about what is happening and what should be happening inside of a coaches mind while he is talking to his client for the firs time, take a moment and think about it for yourself. What do you imagine the coach should be paying attention to? Name at least 5 things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSpRyDDVoXU
To map a coaching question means to clarify all the elements the question consists of so that it gives another perspective to the coachee.
It is a kind of diagnostics, an interview in which we do not get more specific or zoom in into the coaching question, but zoom out and unravel all the people, objects, emotions, influences, elements that are there with the question. The assumption we are working here is that there is something unsaid by the client, even though it is there and playing a role. And that our job as a coach is to unveil it first, before starting to work with it. The assumption is also that the problem is not the problem, the solution is.
Mapping out the coaching question.pdf
When a coach is truly attentive to a client, they listen intently. They do so not just with their ears, but with their eyes and their intuition. Of course, being in that state of high attentiveness continuously isn’t easy – internal and external distractions constantly interrupt our total attention and cause us to drift away from truly listening. To some extent, however, these distractions are what enable us to concentrate on the client – if we are aware of them, they are a recurring reminder of where our attention should be. A useful analogy is the way our eyes work. It used to be assumed that when we concentrated on an object, our eyes were still – but the opposite is actually the case. While focusing on an object involves stopping large eye movements, the eye is constantly making microscopic movements, called microsaccades, which refresh the messages to the brain. Without this constant minor shifting and renewal, we would see nothing, as the images in our minds would fade before we had time to acknowledge them consciously.
To further support your observation skills, listen to Tihana Dragicevic, one of OVs trainers, a coach, supervisor and author, in one of her lectures on the difference of facts and thoughts and how the distinction makes a huge difference when we are creating our assumptions about the clients and ultimately about ourselves.